Syazana A.Bakar’s Weblog

the least you could do is to have the decency to tag using your own name. im not that dumb as to not be able to tell who you are.

i cant forget the past either but at least im willing to TRY to forget so as to stay friends. you’re just scared. you just want to run away. admit it.

—————-

just ate breakfast. boy, it was good. =)

ayah went out early in the morning bcos he is on an excursion with his class.! yes, my dad is studying again for his new job. any guesses what kind of job?

those who know, pls shut up.

i dont think ive publicly wrote in my blog abt him wanting to work again! (at long last) but i doubt dat people would be interested abt my dad wanting to work.

anw, i still have tons of hw but i havent got round to doing them. luckily though, ms tan has made us do the eng paper1 thing. i dont think i’d even do it at home.

it suddently occurred to me that theres no sch on monday. eh ehhh, calling all A’s!!!! how bout baking on monday? u guys up for it? i miss you guys you know.!!!!!!!!

anw sheikha, i hope ure feeling better. TAKE CARE TAKE CARE!. i hope the fever has subsidised!

abee, haiya, dont angry with me anymore lah. i wish i could tell you but you know i cant. if ure in my shoes, you too, wouldnt tell me, would you.? just smile and be happy at the thought that you have a secret admirer.!!!!!!!

and zaf, i love your earrings!!! haha, ok random but , haha!

my mom bought me chendol.! and, i want to go eat and be fat now!!!

LOOOVE YOUUUUUUUU. =)

im angry but im even angrier because i hate being angry but i dont know why im so angry. im esp angry because i get angry easily when i dont mean to get angry.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF…..

ok, shut up already..

another SHIT day. sheeeesh. i dont need another shit day in this week. sheeesh. i dont know what the hell is wrong with me but it cant be pms cos i had it jus a week ago.

met nash in the morning. dont know what mood he was in but for the first time ever, he thoroughly checks my inbox. I,NUR SYAZANA ABU BAKAR, ususally does the checking of inbox.

he found some msgs and he refused to look at me in the eye. and so,

me: eh, you dont angry uh.
nash: did i say im angry?
me: oh, so you’re not angry?
nash: i didnt say im not angry either.

i still didnt know if he was angry or not but i made him promise me that he’ll go to the CIP later. and so, he did promise me.

met fi (LOVE YOU) than my classmates then headed to the bedok cc. had some stupid walk to the saturday (sunday market).

i got a purple balloon. pretty seah the balloon. i wanted to let it fly up in the sky later on. but stupid serene actually burst my balloon. was irritated lah. i wasnt in the mood for jokes. besides, letting the balloon fly up in the air was really going to cheer me up.

anw, abee got roses frm a secret admirer!!!!! hahahahhahaha. love you babe.

wanted to eat with zaf, abee and sheikha to probably bring smiles to me again but zaf and abee eating with their class and sheikha’s sick so i headed home with sheikha and suhaimi.

anw, this was what happened to farid and i.

farid: did you forget something?
me: urhh, no.
farid: you sure you didnt forget?
me: (thinks hard…no i didn…OH SHIT ! his birthday today) SHIT FARID, IM SORRY!
farid: (gives me a mean look)
me: sorry i forgot. happy bdae.!
farid: (smiles) its ok.

so sorry for that you monkey. HAPPY 17TH birthday FARID! =)

anw, called nash later only to find out he’s not coming. was damn sad la cos i wanted to pujok him and make sure he’s nt angry anymore. but….haiya.

sometimes i feel fate doesnt want us together.

——————–

and sometimes when you need a friend, that friend might not want to be needed.

one of the shittiest day ever.

im really disappointed in my phone. why are you doing this to me? i feel dumped. =(

im also very disappointed with nash. was supposed to meet today but he canceled out on me (again). i think its the millionth time already.

shan’t go into great details but i went to great lengths to look good for him but just as i was ready, he canceled out on me.

anw, if not for ZAFIRAH MUSTAZA, i’d probably would have done the wrongest thing to nash ever. so for that, i thank you dear. really! i think theres a blessing for my phone to die cos if not, i’d probably would have done it alr.

everything happens, happens for a reason.
even the ultimate bad thing that were to happen, something good will definitely come out of it.

its somethng i really believe in and talked to zaf abt it. another one of my theories again.

———-

decided to meet atee so she cold accompany me to send my phone for servicing.dropped at her sch to fetch her.

her freinds saw me and a guy asked her,

guyfriend: kakak kau sec ape?
atee: sec four
guyfriend: sec four?eh, boleh ar.
atee: jangan perasan. die da ade matair.

something like that lah. cant really remember. you know whats the worse thing abt this guy? HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! sheeesh. are all guys like this?

and he’s in sec3 now which means he’s like 2 yrs younger. sheeeeeeesh. and he said i was sombong because he smiled at me and i didnt smile back. wow, just bcos i dont smile means im sombong.

its not dat im sombong, im just NOT GATAL.

went to the nokia centre place and told the person abt my phone problems. she informed me that after the servicing, my msgs and all will be lost.

i seriously want to cry. i have SOOO many msgs dat i cherish so much. omg, i have nash’s, fifi’s, abee’s, zaf’s, sheikha’s, my mom’s, azmi’s, hakim’s, another hakim also.

walau…… want to cry lah.

———

today = NOT GOOD.

im still thinking if i should go to sch or not tmr.eh, what the hell am i thinking? i have prelims tmr. of course must go. sheeeesh. what the hell is wrong with me?

—————–

nash just msged. pds competition postponed. it was suppposed to be tomorrow but they postponed to july or something.

JUST GREAT KAN. lesser time for me.! wow. so exciting!!!!!! ARGH.

i want to kill someone.

MY HANDPHONE REFUSES TO WORK AND I CANT USE THE BLOODY 3230 ANYMORE.

IT HAS ONLY BEEN WITH ME FOR 3MONTHS PLUS AND ITS DEAD ALREADY.

I WANT TO DIE TOOOO.

WHYYYYYYYYY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. IM SUCH A GD HANDPHONE OWNER, FOR GOD’S SAKE.!

I ALSO CANT USE MY WARRANTY CARD FOR SERVICING BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A BLOODY RECEIPT.

WHOEVER KEEPS A STUPID RECEIPT FOR THREE WHOLE MONTHS? THEN WHAT THE HELL IS A WARRANTY CARD FOR IF I CANT USE IT FOR SERVICING WITHOUT A BLOODY RECEIPT?

DAMN, IM PISSED.

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!

omg, abee and sheikha made me do this AGAIN. ive done it alr tau! nvm, this time my ans are based on what guy i want IF im single

Gender: Male

1) he should bear with me and enjoy going shopping with me. if you go shopping with me, dont even dare to look bored. if you hate shopping then dont ever shop with me.

2) hello, if im carrying something heavy, pls help. i take these things quite seriously. each time a guy (potential boyfriend) is with me, i observe if he actually insists on carrying my (heavy)stuffs for me. i’d probably say “its okay. i can manage” the first time you asked but you should keep insisting to help me. im only testing how sincere you are to help me.

3) DO NOT insist to send me home when ive clearly said “NO” the first time. this one i dont bedek2 one. no means NO.

4) omg, spend on me okay. dont be a scrooge. SHEESH.

5) respect me, thank you very much. do not touch the any parts of my body if ive told you i feel uncomfortable or i dont like it.

6) sometimes i dont mean to flirt with other people. im sorry.

surprisingly, nash is okay with shopping, he ALWAYS carries my extrabulkyheavy stuffs, he sends me home but ive never said no to him lah, he does spend on me =) , he respects me and he doesnt scold me when i accidentally flirts.

thats probably why he’s my boyfriend.

7 people to do this
1) zaf
2) fifi
3) aisz
4) ain
5) syahida
6) uurh
7) urrrrrrrrrh. HAHAH

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SHEIKHAHAROON kicked a puddle and splashed water all over my face and uniform. my face was damn wet with the damndirtyyucky puddle.

and the front of my uniform was wet with grass and dirt and RAINWATER. can see my bra clearly through my white uniform. wow. thank you very much for that.

that girl sure can kick. and i’d like to kick her in the ass.

abee didnt come yesterday…..zaf told me she’s either malas or abit saket. hahaha. i bet its a bit of both. hahaha. anw, get well soon SAYANGKUUUUUUUU.

zaf and i had a gd talk, ate fries and putu piring. i wanted to support the malay auntie uh. kesian i see her like gt no customers like that. had the usual dose of bubble tea.

and i love to talk talk talk talk. we should have more of the talks like the ones we had at sheikha’s hse. =) =)

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as usual, nash busy nak mampos. his competition this friday. i havent had a gd talk/time with him since last sat.

haiya, i real shopoholic take manhattan, which i borrowed frm fifi (thank you dear). and i thik luke and nash are very much alike.

luke is busy with work and has no time for becky. nash is busy with NP and no tme for MEEE!

i should stop whining. sheeeesh.

IVE HAD A HAIRCUT!!!!! =)

ok dont get to excited. it isnt anything drastic. i just trimmed and thinned abit. i dont think anyone will notice but who cares?? my head is so freaking light now.

ibu and kak nana and ati didnt see much difference but hell, i can feel it. i feel less irritated with my hair also. which is somewhat better lah.

met siti rafidah TODAAAAAAAY. i studied. =) YAAAAAY and had fun also. i felt drunk for awhile and i think i irritated her for quite abit the way i did to zaf yesterday.

sorry fi. but love me okay. =)

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ohoh! ayah bought himself a lappie and digicam.!!!! where does he get all the money? he doesnt work, you know. JENG JENG JENGGGGG.

studied after sch with zaf yesterday. aniq joined in after that. we did our bit and got to gossiping after that. hehs. but we did at least one hr of studying first. much more disciplined when i study with zaf.

studied until library had to close. 4/2 finished their course at abt that time also. but nash’s kakak fetched him frm sch so he went home first. spend some more time with the other A’s at the cafe there.

had much much laughter. oh and ain tried to kill me. she wanted to push me from the third floor. what a nice friend she is.

some awkwardness and clicking happened and i hate it so much cos, well, i just want everything to be normal. im trying my best to make it normal but my reaction isnt cooperating with what i want! sheesh.

it rained heavily so we waited for the rain to relek abit uh. after that, went home with my dear 3A’s and we splashed and jumped on all the puddles. it was much fun lah. hahhaha. i think zaf got bullied the most.

sorry deaaaaaar

bought sushi and headed home. zaf wasnt feeling too good on the way home. i was very worried and wanted to send her home but she insisted that she’d be alright. so yeah, she did msg me straight after she reached hom to put my mind at ease.

=)

yesterday was good. much much laughter with my dear AAAAAAAAAA’s!

———-

okay, clicking theory alrite. been promising that for a few days already.

have you ever had someone, anyone you were attracted to or someone you had a past with.? someone who used to mean so much to you and someone who used to play a big part in your life.?

well, things might not have gone well and if you are not with this person anymore. it will take time for you to stop thinking of the person. and eventually there will be a point of time that you will get over that person. sooner or later it depends on how long you allow yourself to take.

and even if you are so so soooo SOOOOOO sure that you are over a certain person and you have no feelings whatsoever towards this person, a certain click inside you will NOT disappear.

its like, whenever you see that person, something inside you just …clicks.

i feel that you cant avoid this click feeling as long as you’ve looked upon a certain person as someone you have had deep feelings before.

so yes, when you look at any special(or used to be) someone, something inside you clicks, whether you want it or not, the person has made an impact in your life.

the clicks can make you feel awkward, nice, irritated or even angry. it depends on what your relationship with the person is like rite now.

i believe that just because you have the clicks, it doesnt mean that you have feelings for the person. its two different things.

the click thing is unavoidable. you cant force it to be there or not be there. it is either there or not.

and that is my theory of something that clicks in everyone of us. =)

weekend hasnt been good.

firstly, nur syazana is broke and she is a bad sister for making her younger sister eat fruits during recess. =(

anw, told ibu abt shortage of money. she did her nagging but hey, at least she’s giving me money tmr.

secondly, i dont know whats your bloody problem but stop treating me like im your girlfriend or something. STOP talking and scolding me like that. whatever ive done is minor for a friend to do but you can only get THAT angry if im your girlfriend okay. fact is, im not, so stop doing this. SHEESH.

lastly, nash seems distant since friday night. i want to ask him if everything is alright but im scared to.

felt like shit last night. called fi but she has ulcers in her mouth so she couldnt talk and zaf didnt pick up her phone. zaf msged to ask me why but i didnt wan to bother her anymore. didnt dare to call abee and sheikha cos it was late at night already.

—————-

did some cleaning today. found some nice old stuff that i want to remember by so i took my memory box to keep them there. =)

went through everything inside it. looked back at some photos. some clicking happened but i tried to brush them aside.

i hate it when the clicking happens. i know you ppl dont understand what the hell im talking abt which is why i shall talk abt my clicking theory SOON. tmr or something alrite.

———–

i dont want to blog anymore.

was supposed to go to tpjc open house but decided not to at last minute. was also supposed to go out with hakim and zaid today but also cancelled lah.

main reason. sorry people but im damn broke la. for the past few days ive been taking money frm my younger sister.

initially wanted to borrow again frm her for today but i decided not to after i found out that she has been eating fruits during her recesses because she’s been lending me money.

felt guilty lah. so stayed home instead.

haiyaaaaa. i feel so bad and useless.

info below was extracted frm sheikhaharoon’s blog.
NASH! take note of all that especially the bolded ones! =) stuffs in brackets are commented by me.

1. Watch the sunset together.

2. Whisper to each other.

3. Cook for each other.

4. Walk in the rain. (it can be so fun.)

5. Hold hands. (oh well, we always do.)

6. Buy gifts for each other.

7. Roses.

8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you’re together.

9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.

10. Write poetry for each other.

11. Hugs are the universal medicine. (yeeey! three cheers for ur great hugs)

12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it. ( i always mean them)

13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc. ( dont waste money on flowers, chocolates or bears are better )

14. Tell her that she’s the only girl you ever want. Don’t lie! (yeah, dont lie!)

15. Spend every second possible together.

16. Look into each other’s eyes.

17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.

18. When in public, only flirt with each other. (ok fine, i wont flirt with anyone else)

19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren’t looking. (yeah, CUTE.)

20. Buy her a ring. (purplegold PLEASE!)

21. Sing to each other. (urh, i wont sing to you. later u lari)

22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.

23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.

24. Spaghetti (?)

25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart. (aww aww aww!)

26. Dance together. (HAHAHHAHAHHA! done that! you were cacat ok. DO IT AGAIN. DO IT AGAIN.)

27. I love the way a girl looks right after she’s fallen asleep with her head in my lap. (i prefer your tummy, chest and shoulder rather than your lap.)

28. Do cute things like write I love you in a not so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.

29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes. (urrh, maybe not every 5mins)

30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you. (yeeey for this. dont have to call. msg also can)

31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them. (dont have to. you should have fun watching other girls instead since im not ard.)

32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.

34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears. (yes, and i shall protect you. HAH. yeah right.)

35. Be Prince Charming to her parents. (no! be prince charming to me FIRST)

36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.

37. Hang out with his/her friends.

38. Go to church/Mosque: pray/worship together.

39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.

40. Learn from each other and don’t make the same mistake twice. (haiya, sorry abt my mistakes ok.)

41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.

42. Make sacrifices for each other. (yes yes mm hmm)

43. Really love each other, or don’t stay together.

44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren’t thinking about them, and make sure they know it.

45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.

46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages. ( sarang hae!)

47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.

48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.

49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash. (stand up for syazana! do the best you can. yey)

50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, “Sweet dreams.” (mwah mwah mwah)

———————-

haiyaaaaaaaaaaaaa. cant blog much. religious class soon. wanted to tell you people abt faris.

remember yesterday i studied with him and all, right.? well, i also found out that he’s quite a romantic person.his fantasy on what he’d do for his gf is sweeeeeeet.

he told me for his first anniversary with his gf (whoever that might be in future) he’d take her to a beach cos he loves beaches. he wants them to whisper to each other. then dadada got candlelight dinner or something. OH OH, and he’d meet her parents first to get permission frm them to spend the day with her. berani jugak eh si faris nie.

hoho. lucky girl.

more updates soon.

would you ever think, say and do the things he thought, said and did?