Syazana A.Bakar’s Weblog

theres sumthing bothering me but i cant quite figure out wad.

something somewhere at the back of my mind, there’s this naggy voice bothering me.

like something i havent do dat shud be done.

homework? call someone? do a favour?

i cant quite figure out wad. i juz noe i hafta do sumthing i havent done but i cant quite recall wad it is.

gah. i have cme tml.

dat sux so bad. urgh.HAHAHAHHAHA

received a testi frm one of the bebs or doks.

ebebsNedoks! /
13th June 05 – 17th June 05

BEBS;
nurain syakirah
nur syazana
yasmeen
siti aisyah
sheikha
farhanis
siti shahirah

DOKS;
amin
juzantino
ahmad naqib
hariz
haziq

May we all stay tight together.
Some may leave, but we will still be known as ebebsNedoks for we have built a super tight bond during the Jakarta-Puncak Bandung trip. That 5 days will always be a part of our childhood memories.

“dok, taiti dok!”
“dunt give up!”
“antara bandung dan jakarta..”
“gadis ayu, lesum pipit di pipi!”
“cewek salah bilik…………..”
“whats up DOUG???”
“orang dah datang abeh tak kasi masuk, kiwaaak …”
“murah lagi nggak boleh ya???”
“wink wink, APEK!!!!!!” -made me laugh so much
“eh i nak muntah”
“ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ”

ade J,
fellow doksNbebs

love,
JIWA.

i sayang you all frm the bottom of my heart soo much.<3 <3

gah. am rotting at home.

cik sal cuming over layta. sighs. tml mondae. i hate mondaes so much.

newaes. i juz had breakfast. my family muz be the onlie one in the whole world who has breakfast at 2pm.-rolls eyes.

im very irritated ryte now. i wan you to back off. like seriously.
and im not talking abt my dearest .
im talking abt you. dun u get it? argh.

i read sheikha’s blog and i think its reallie sad

i will try my best to still stay rapat wif u ppl. bcuz i reallie syg u ppl. maybe its the common test and ppl need to study and stuff so dats probably why u noe.

next week onwards we muz alwaes stay together and spend AS MUCH TYME AS POSSIBLE together.

i cant update much. im going out wif fi ok and probably for a haircut. i dunno la. see if i’ll back out or not. =)

i still dunno wad to do abt you.

very much thx to sheikha, abee and zaf for yesterdae. and marr too.

didnt reallie blog much cuz ayah was using the com yesterdae and i cudnt use it dat long. aniwaes. yesterdae. its like everything changed.

for once, i wasnt dat happie even thou he tried to make me feel better.

i wasnt happie wen he called me those sweet stuffs. it juz wasnt special anymore.

i wasnt happie even thou he tells me he wasnt in the wrong.

i juz felt anger in my veins. i dunno why. i felt like shouting in his face. juz telling him how angry i felt.

but he has defended himself and zaf thinks he’s not at fault. zaf noes him better. i dunno wad to do.

i think im not ready to forgive him yet.

and i dun feel wad i used to feel for him anymore. wad im feeling now is all anger.

i guess cuz no matter how he tries to defend himself, deep down i dun dare or wish to trust him anymore.

for once, yesterdae i never reallie cared wad i said to him. all those stuffs dat makes me unhappy, i juz told him. not reallie caring how he wud respond.

and i think i went abit too far yesterdae cuz he waited for a long tyme to reply and when he did, he gave a lame excuse to stop smsing so dat i cant sae stuffs anymore.

haiz. i dunno wad im doing anymore.

i wan to sayang you but this anger juz wont go awae.

i noe somedae u cannot take my sarcasm anymore and u’ll get reallie angry at me for the things i sae.

i noe it seems crazy but i juz wan to see you get angry at me. and wen u reallie do, i noe i’ll regret it for trying to piss u off.

but i still wan to see you lose your temper at me.

its weird. but true.

okok. i feel much better ryte now.

zaf juz called. and i feel much better now.everything is explained. i shall trust him yet, again.

i wanna go eaaaaaaat. i can so eat now. =) hohohohoho.

my heart is paining.

grr

zaf is supposed to call me and tell the whole story but i havent heard of her yet.

i might go crazy if i dun hear frm her soon.

i juz msged him.

i dont feel like killing him.

i still sayang yoo.

my heart is paining.

im heart broken-ted.

my feelings is hurted.

i feel so cheated

im very angry at my dearest ryte now. i noe i shudnt juz hear frm one side. esp if the source is unreliable.

but i feel damn cheated. cannot tahan laa.

but. ferst i wanna thank marr, ngiam, sio, fang lin, jaz, natasha. but extremely much thx to marr and ngiam for the extra concern.

i lurve u both very much.

i gave him the cold shoulder wen i went home juz now cuz im extremely angry. i hope he noes im very angry.

but i also feel i need to gif him a chance to explain even thou i hv no idea how he can defend himself.

grr. maybe its best to ask him and listen to his side of the story. moreover. they sae the person who told me is a pretty unreliable source.

i will hate you if you purposely hurt my feelings.

ARGH!

ok enuf already. went to the red roof todae.

which is so damn cooooool. haha. everyone was extremely satisfied wif the place. went wif fanglin, marr, ngiam, sio, jaz, natasha, preet and acap. then haziq, ameer and kiang came over.

i and haziq talked and remembered the old daes. i miss him very very much.

he misses us too. =)

i love the red roof so much. they were thinking of going there again tml. haha. had the funnest tyme there juz now.

im not reallie in the mood to blog much coz im very much angry and like lost abt wad to do.

i feel like killing my dearest ryte now.
yes. i meant dat!

was talking to fi on the phone wen kak nana came home at like 10 plus? ard there la.

then her frens sent her home saying she got possessed or someting.

scaryyy.

why did u hafta come back wen we’re doing juz fine w/o you?
where were you wen we needed you?
you came back a little too late.

HAH.take dat!

how does it feel now sucker?

i dunno how. but i slept on the floor yesterdae. didnt wanna study in bed coz scared i’d be distracted so studied on the floor.

i laid on my tummy,while msging him.so obviously, i was still distracted. not bcuz of the bed. but bcuz of msging him.

so didnt study laaaa. =(

i dunno how but while waiting for him to reply, i fell asleep. on the floor.my back hurts wen i woke up.

did the usual stuff and headed for sch.passed abee her poster thingo. haha. the one zaf and i bought for her.

did very last minute of memorising formulas. but maths was pretty difficult. the trigo was kinda easy but graph thingy difficult la.

had recess but juz bought pau then hurry go up la.

tried to do last minute thingy wif marr and syah helping me. thank you very much. studied summore and miss chia is such an angel.

gave us all the help we asked for.

i was tired so went to the toilet to wash my face and get ready for the next paper since study hour ending soon.

i spent like a very long tyme in the mirror la. then go out of the gerls toilet.

then skalie the boy’s toilet open, and my dearest came out.ahaha =D

see. its fate.

we talked abit on the wae back to class. then he ask me to go hang ard at his class there. i told him he was psycho cuz the paper was starting soon.

i think i offended him bcuz of the wae i said it. but im sure he isnt dat petty ryte.

so yeah. came bak to class all smiley.and marr said i purposely waited for him outside the toilet.hah.

ouh yes marr. i soooo have x ray eyes and i can see who is inside the toilet even wif the doors closed huh?

aniq already has the suspicion.
-slahes wrist

ouh well. wad can i sae?

physics was super easy but i cudnt answer most of them cuz obviously i didnt study ryte. i shud have at least read abit cuz most of it was like common sense and even if u revise a teeny bit, u wud noe how to do it.
-sulks

chem was difficult. i didnt do the whole last two pages cuz it was too late. i confirm fail science la.

ms goh and mr teo talks too much. sumtymes they shud juz shut up.

i mean i love ms goh and all. but she talks abt stuff which is juz a waste of tyme. and mr teo. as much as i try to love him too, he juz irritates ppl like he wans to.

tml is art but mr tock sae art no common test so i dun get it at all but no studying and no prep work. woooohoooo.

im so happie i can go do wadever i wan todae.=)

went home straight noeeee. long tyme sia never go home straight already. it felt reallie weird todae. hurhur.

cik sal at my hse now.im very tired im sleeping soon enuf.

im so happie i dun hafta prepare for anything for tomoro.wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

i wanna cut my hair. been thinking abt it.